Some of you know, and some do not, that I sometimes obsess a little bit about my weight. Good, bad, or indifferent, I am always at least aware of my weight and shape. So I decided to start training for a 10K so that I would focus more on strength than on the number on the scale. It started out well, but now that I'm a couple of weeks into it, I sure can run harder and longer than I ever have..but I'm also gaining weight. I know some of it is muscle gain, and some of it is straight up needing more reserves/energy to burn to run that far and long. I went from running 8-10 miles a week, to about 20 miles a week.
However, I think part of it is also my letting myself eat what I want. This probably sounds pathetic, but it somehow feels better to blog about it. I cannot handle gaining weight like this, even when I understand what it's for, and know I can drop it all after the race. It makes me irritable and angry at myself all the time. I just don't feel good when I gain weight. And I have no energy when I lose it all. AHHGHGH!
So, there is my whiny, "poor me" post. Sorry you had to read it :)
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Congrats on getting ready for a 10K. Gaining weight is hard even with a purpose like muscle or pregnancy. When I am bothered by it I turn to Heavenly Father for help. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to know what to say, but I'll share an answer I'm sure you've heard before.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful. You are strong. You are capable. Any feelings contrary to those FACTS do not stem from our Heavenly Father, and if they do not come from Him, then they come from the adversary. What a powerful tool those feelings can be! In one way or another, he makes all women feel inadequate. Think about it... what woman out there never feels too fat, untalented, ugly, unable, or just plain depressed? Satan wouldn't bother with this tool if it wasn't so powerful and didn't have the ability to sway us from the truth! And that is that YOU matter, YOU have gifts bestowed by a loving Heavenly Father, and those gifts give YOU the ability to change the world for better. Don't let the numbers on the scale blot out those truths.
Because those feelings are so powerful, they won't just disappear. But maybe being aware of their origination will help. You have a healthy body that functions the way it should and allows you do enjoy all life has to offer. Remember that and be kind to yourself!
Good advice Reena Fae, I agree with it 100% YOU are beautiful, and strong and capable. ALWAYS remember that! Know you are loved by many and they love you not your body. Love you tons, Aunt Nana
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