Struggling

I know I've complained about this before, so I hope you readers out there don't get the wrong idea about what I'm saying. I love my daughter, my husband, my life. I'm grateful for the option to stay home.
That said, these past two weeks have been difficult for me. I've been feeling cut off from a lot of the adult world, and understimulated. I guess I can sometimes feel trapped by motherhood. I've been looking for very part-time jobs that would get me back in the workplace, just a few hours a day. None of them seem to be working out, which is probably God's way of telling me it's not time for me to leave home yet. While I've been praying for His guidance in making this choice, it's sometimes hard to take when He says no.
I know I'm doing what's right...I just didn't know how much I would miss work! Do any other mothers struggle with this?

Update

So not a whole lot has been going on with the Griffith's lately. Although, Tom was in an accident that totaled our LandRover. We were sad to see it go, but Tom wasn't hurt, and the insurance company paid us a fair value for it, so we were able to find a comprable vehichle. It's a truck instead of an SUV, which I'm not thrilled about. But Tom swears we need the power, so what are ya gunna do? It's a 2005 Dodge Dakota. I'll post pics when we pick it up next week. Until then, Tom is using a rental to commute to and from work. I still have my trusty and reliable Saturn that I got my junior year of high school. (Thanks Mom and Dad, it was a good buy :0))
I sent out my first batch of query letters to literary agents to get representation for my book. I haven't heard much back yet, but the publishing businesses is tough. I'm going to have to face a lot of no's before I find my yes.
Lucy took her first steps a few weeks ago. She isn't walking consistantly yet, but she takes a few steps every day. She's learning!
I posted a few updated pics of the family. Hope everyone is doing well!

Lucy climbing up Grandma & Grandpa's stairs
My first trip to the South Jordan temple

Tom in front of the temple

Awww. I love him.

My good friend Kendall just had her baby girl. I forgot how tiny newborns are!

The lighting in this one is bad, but she is stinkin' cute!

learning to walk

Hi Mom!

By Small and Simple Means....

This is one of those posts that some people might roll their eyes at, but I decided that's okay. Just in case someone out there in cyberspace appreciates this experience, I'm going to blog about it. Some of you know that for the past 7 months I've been working on writing a fiction novel. I finally finished it, 315 pages of it! I had three people read and edit the manuscript, made some changes, and purchased some books on getting published. But the closer it got to time to actually send out query letters, the more I began to doubt myself and my work. Maybe it isn't any good. Maybe I just wasted 7 months of my time. I expressed these feelings of inadequacy to my sister, Laureena, over the phone. As soon as I said the words, Lucy, inexplicably started crying hysterically. I mean, couldn't catch her breath, beyond upset crying. And there was nothing that triggered it! The only other time I remember her doing that was when I told Tom I was thinking about going back to work.

Now I know that technically it's impossible for my 10 month old daughter to understand what I'm saying enough to get upset over it. But I'm telling you, sometimes I think she is so in tune with me, that she knows when I'm about ready to give up. She knew when I was about to give up on staying at home, and she knew when I was about to give up on my dream of being an author. And both times, her tears seemed to say, "Don't quit Mommy, I know you can do it!" In my prayers, I thank God for sending such an angel into my care. I know I'm supposed to be teaching her, but in so many ways, she's teaching me.

Mommy loves you, Lucy!

Wyoming Trip

Every year Tom and I go to visit my parents for the Fourth of July. This year was the first time I didn't have a job to hurry home to, so Lucy and I stayed for the entire week, and Tom came back to get us the next weekend. We had so much fun while we were there! Lucy met her cousin Wyatt for the first time (well, they'd seen eachother before, but never played because Luc was too young) They got along so well; it was adorable!

I also had the opportunity to spend time with my Mom and sisters. Chey is home for the summer, and Reena and Wil actually moved out there, recently. We had a fantastic time! Lucy loved Grandma's hardwood floors!

Tom and I before he had to go back

Me and Daddy!

Wyatt, the cutest little nephew in the world

Mima and Lucy

Me trying to play horse shoes...I can't tell you how bad I really was

Me and my beautiful Mom

Playin with Luc

Tom watching Lucy play with the water toys

Three year anniversary!

I'm posting this a few hours early, but I wanted to make sure it got up here. It has been 3 years since Tom and I said "I Do." In some ways it seems like time has rushed by, but mostly I just can't remember my life without him. It feels like we've been together forever (in a good way). I love him so much and feel so blessed to have found such a wonderful best friend. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of eternity with my one and only!

Here are some wedding pictures:

Eskimo kisses!

I think I lost my shoe, ha ha!

cutting the cake at the reception; after the formal ring ceremony and "the line", we changed into jeans and flip flops!

Our get away car that wouldn't start :0)

My great-grandma melba coming through the line

My Calm in the Storm

This week has been a really tough one for me. Nothing too dramatic, just a lot of mini disasters, ranging from mysterious and creepy bugs in my kitchen (I've already shared my feelings on creepy crawling things) to a very unhappy, screaming baby, to my car suddenly not starting for no apparent reason. The car was kind of a final straw for me. I broke down into tears and called Tom at work.
Tom has had a pretty stressful week at work, too. But he really came through for me. He took an extra long lunch and drove all the way home (about a 20 minute drive one way) and diagnosed the problem. He didn't have enough time to fix it, but he took me to lunch, and was just so calm, possitive, and reassuring that it was impossible for me to stay upset! He offered to leave me the LandRover if I needed to run erronds before he got home. I declined, but he was just so sweet to drop everything and come to my rescue. It made all the difference; after he left to go back to work, things just didn't seem so bad.
Thanks honey, you're the best!
Here are some pics of my sweetheart:

Tom "t.p.ed" his professor's house his senior year with a bunch of friends
At Thanksgiving last year in Wyoming; his first trip to Powell/Deaver

He's a wonderful Daddy

Random, but I just love his puppydog eyes in this one. I didn't even know he was taking a picture, which is why I look so weird.

At Lucy's Blessing

Jeanette!

I just wanted to give a shout out to my wonderful sister-in-law, Jeanette! She ordered these beautiful beaded butterfly hair pieces a couple of months ago that I really loved. She had hinted that she was going to order me one, because she's just that kind of sister. Yesterday she surprised me with not one, but THREE of them, all different colors! She also threw in a hand-stitched bookmark and chocolate. She is so sweet; it really made my day.
It's crazy how simple things can make such a difference in someone's day. It made me want to brighten someone else's day. Kindness in contagious, so pass it on!

Thanks Jeanette, I love you!!